Helen Killer.

Helen Gurley Brown Dishes It To Young Ladies, 2008:

Buahahahaha!
I loved making this. I was laughing the whole time.
1950s dating movies always crack me up, with their melodrama and bad acting, but I thought they would be fun juxtaposed with the recorded voice of Cosmo editor Helen Gurley Brown. The recording comes from some 1960s advice record following up on “Sex and The Single Girl.”
A lot of people knock ol’ Helen for her debaucherous advice (how to have an affair, etc) in “Sex and the Single Girl,” but I find her to be fucking hilarious, both in earnest and within the context of anachronism. She sounds like an eccentric great aunt who comes to visit every so often, who gives outdated advice like “only ethnic girls get their ears pierced,” or useful advice, like how to make a good pie crust. I count it as one of my all time favorite books, up there with “Nineteen Eighty-Four.”
I got the sound footage from April Winchell’s site. Winchell’s site has been a treasure trove of aural trauma for years, and I love going through her collection of horrible music. I have a perverse fondness for anything that sounds terrible. (Perhaps this is a running trait amongst Capricorn women, as she and I share a birthday week.)
Since then, Winchell has founded the brilliant Regretsy site and gone on to true internet infamy, but I knew of her when she was regaling us with the strident sounds of Telly Savalas singing or Pakistani versions of “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” April is my heroine, or at least one of them. Thanks for the inspiration, lady!

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