Great Moments In Accident History.

Let it be known here and now: I am never to operate a box cutter on foamcore again.

I was commissioned by a local interior design company, Morpheus, to design a 3D poster for Martin & Suhey, a local center for orthopedic surgery. They wanted to have a spiffy hallway display for a new building they’re constructing soon. This wasn’t too hard of a design challenge: incorporate the plans they wanted, make a 3D element on the bottom so the architect’s rendering of the building popped out. I just had to make 4 layers, cut out the building and people, and assemble all of this on foamcore.

The 9900 printer we have at my job is amazing and prints like lightning. I had the poster itself finished and printed pretty easily; I wanted to make it clean and easy to understand, because I didn’t think that people waiting to get their shoulders operated on would really want to focus on parking lot plans. The real star of that poster was the building itself!

Everything worked out like clockwork: the plans were approved, the poster printed, the buildings cut out.

I had a meeting that morning with Morpheus to hand in the assignment, and I had to cut a couple more pieces of foamcore to complete the project. The night before, I had a bad bout of insomnia and needed to get up early, so I decided to wait on cutting the foamcore until the morning when I was refreshed. DUMB, DUMB, DUMB.

Within half an hour of awakening, the box cutter slipped out of the foamcore and my arm jerked. I managed to stab a 2″ gash in my leg with full force. I realized I was bleeding like a stuck pig, in dire need of hospital attention. I calmly made a tourniquet of antibacterial wipes, pounded on my boyfriend’s apartment door to wake him up, and when the bleary-eyed, half-asleep man finally opened the door, I said, “I’m going to have to go to the ER.”

Two hours and seven stitches later, I went right back home, finished cutting the foamcore, and handed in the poster that afternoon. I AM A VERY EFFICIENT WORKER, EVERYONE. Just let it be known.

So the stitches come out next week. It’s healing nicely!

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